By Dr. Joe Rubino
Dreams do come true. However, if your self-image is tarnished, your expectations of participating in all the great things that life has to offer are likely suffering as well. Perhaps, low self-esteem’s greatest cost is the resulting resignation it fosters. We die inside a little more each day. Before we realize what is happening, we have sold out our dreams for being all we can be, having those things we deserve and living a life fueled by our passions.
We get what we expect. If we expect that our lives will be marked by rich relationships, abundance, fun and adventure, we will generate an intention to make it so. Our intention will create a drive within us to accomplish those actions necessary to manifest our vision. Likewise, if low self-esteem results in anticipation of pain, loneliness, suffering, struggle, broken relationships and poverty, we will see these results in our world. We unintentionally sabotage our efforts at achieving those things we want most because we do not believe we are worthy of receiving them. Every time things begin to look up, an invisible self-defeating inner thermostat kicks in, ensuring our low expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The good news is that you can retrain your thoughts and intentions to manifest what you want to have appear. Train your mind to become an ally in your quest for high self-esteem by creating a vision that honors your values, aligns with your passions and encompasses the qualities you are committed to fostering. This new and empowering vision will replace the current dim vision that is neither serving your magnificence nor fueling your self-esteem.
Take an 8-ounce glass filled with coffee. This represents your low self-esteem. It is murky, dark and does not transmit light. Now take a large pitcher of crystal clear water. This represents your new empowering vision. Pour the water from the pitcher into the glass. The water from the pitcher flows into the glass, causing the glass to overflow. The first few ounces have little obvious effect on the color of the liquid in the glass. However, as you add more pure water, the content of the glass gets lighter and lighter. By the time you have poured the entire pitcher out into the glass, you will notice all discolored liquid is gone and only pure, translucent water remains. The same holds true with regard to your mind. As you replace cynical, self-defeating thoughts that crush your self-esteem with a positive, empowering vision that feeds your magnificence, the power of the new thoughts eventually replace the old. This elevates your esteem and dilutes the thoughts that previously consumed your attention. The power in realizing this transformation comes from the magnitude of new positive energy that far surpasses the old negative force.
To mold your new life vision, close your eyes and imagine that a genie has just appeared before you. This genie has offered to grant your every wish, provided you have the courage to envision it, believe it will happen and pursue it. In order to create this vision, you need to temporarily suspend any self-defeating thoughts that you will only have in your life what you have always had. The past does not need to be a harbinger of the future. Keep in mind that we will be developing a specific plan of action to address the question, “What exactly will it take to manifest this vision?” So, create your dream vision with the expectation that we will be designing a plan to bring each aspect of it into reality.
Let’s start by revisiting what values your vision will honor. These will form the fabric that will weave throughout your vision. Next, review the qualities you previously recorded that you will enhance and further develop. These qualities will speak to who you are being as you construct your dream life. And lastly, make a list of your passions. These are those things you love to do and would gladly look forward to doing every day for the next 50 years. Your passions make life worthwhile.
Think of this vision as a movie script you will watch play out before you on the silver screen as you take your seat in the theater featuring your life story. Write your vision in first person and present tense as if you are describing a scene from the movie as it happens. Create a vivid mental image with as much detail as possible to bring your vision to life. Utilize all your senses in describing it -- sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. See your vision as an already accomplished reality in the present, not merely as something you want or hope to have happen. If you construct your vision as something you hope to have, the wanting, desiring and not having of it will manifest instead of the realization of the vision itself.
Include within your vision the answers to the following questions:
- Who will you be? What qualities and values will you embody? How will you look and come across to others? What will your self-image be?
- What will you do with your life when you possess these qualities and values? How will you spend a typical day at play and a typical day at work?
- What will you have as a result of being these qualities and doing the actions consistent with them? Where will you live? In what type of home and with whom? With what physical possessions will you surround yourself? What other things such as great friends, abundance, personal freedom, peace of mind, etc. will you have? What goals will you accomplish?
- Who will you assist or support with these accomplishments? Are there any special people, organizations or causes that will be an important part of your life?
- What will your relationships be like? Picture yourself interacting with friends, family, co-workers and all you meet in a way that reflects your high self-esteem and rich friendships.
You can’t do this exercise wrong, so have fun creating your vision as a magnificent person worthy of the best that life has to offer.
Here’s is my vision, as an example:
It is September 21, 2016. My wife, Janice, and I are celebrating my 60th birthday at our winter estate in Hana, on the island of Maui, Hawaii, by hosting a party attended by a thousand of our closest friends. Our waterfront property spans several acres marked by waterfalls and lush greenery, home to hundreds of magnificent tropical birds. All our family and the close friends we’ve made over the past 40 years are here. Our friends look to our Hawaiian home as a place for them to relax, rest and recharge their bodies, minds and souls. Our doors are always open. We enjoy each other’s company all year long during their frequent visits. We divide our time between our winter home in Maui and our spring, summer and autumn homes in the scenic White Mountains of New Hampshire and the wonderful woods of rural Massachusetts.
Our lives have become totally devoted to contributing to others and discovering more about reaching our personal magnificence. Our company, The Center For Personal Reinvention, has impacted more than 20 million people to live rewarding lives based on choice, contribution and empowerment. People hold the center as one of the foremost organizations in the world that supports people to live lives that work optimally, in peace, harmony and happiness. We spend a large amount of time speaking, writing, coaching and inspiring others to live lives of possibility. Our goal is to kill off the resignation that consumes all too many people’s lives.
My book, The Magic Lantern: A Fable About Leadership, Personal Excellence and Empowerment, first published in 2001, just sold 20 million copies! People have found it to be a window to realize life-changing insights. The book’s tale of the secrets to achieving world peace through the creation of empowering interpretations has taken hold. The thousand years of peace it foretold of is well underway. The feature films based upon this book as well as The Legend of the Light-Bearers and 7 Blessings trilogy have become award winning feature films that have touched the lives of millions worldwide.
My Success Code book series is recognized as the catalyst that has brought the personal development conversation into millions of homes. Millions have implemented its principles into their lives. It sets the new standard for creating effective communication and relationships that thrive. My book, The Self-Esteem Book has supported millions of people to realize their God-given magnificence and live empowered lives, fueled by their passions and sourced by their life purposes.
My focus, now, is on continuing personal development, both for myself and for others. I continue to champion people around the world to maximize their effectiveness, happiness and power through my public speaking engagements, transformational courses, personal coaching and writing. I am humbled by the thousands of people who have stepped forward to join us in our vision of impacting people’s lives. We now work in partnership with these friends to honor our values of contribution, belonging, adventure, abundance and fun!
People the world over have learned to see networking as synonymous with contribution to others and personal growth. My story, featured on the covers of Success and Time magazines, has inspired thousands to live their lives full out and with passion. We have contributed to shifting the old paradigm of struggle, suffering and resignation. Thanks to our efforts, people around the world believe in themselves and in their ability to contribute to others. Third-world countries raise billions of dollars yearly through networking enterprises patterned after my charitable programs. Due to the elevated levels of self-esteem of so many, wars are now a thing of the past. People everywhere have embraced the new paradigm of living in harmony, love, abundance and contribution to their fellow man and woman.
We are in excellent physical health. We have abundant rich relationships. We devote time daily to our personal and spiritual development. Money is no object for us. We have all of the cars, toys and other possessions we could ever want. A large portion of the income that our organizations produce is used to fund our global humanitarian projects. We have more than enough money to support the dozens of worthwhile causes we’re passionate about. Among these is quality education for all children, programs that champion the magnificence of kids all over the world and support people seeking to better themselves.
We travel the world extensively, visiting every continent and country we’ve ever had an interest in exploring. Many of our partners have taken on similarly rewarding lifestyles fueled by their passions. We’ve made friends everywhere we’ve traveled and have lived our lives as a daring adventure, always in search of the awesome power of possibilities.
As you can see, my vision is clear and fueled by my passions, life purpose and values. It sources my self-esteem through contributions to people and those ideals most important to me. It motivates me to grow and excel and by speaking it, I inspire others to both join me in its realization and create empowering visions of their own.
Visions supply the creative energy that speeds the metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly. They nourish our ambitions, help clarify our intentions and elevate our self-esteem to the extent that we have the courage to create them, speak them so as to inspire others and believe in their ultimate realization. They serve as the blueprint for the magnificent castle we will build with the granite blocks of our actions and the mortar of our interpretations.
It’s now your turn to create your very own empowering vision. Please do not pass up this opportunity to take advantage of the magic that it can unleash in transforming your life and self-image.
The ultimate value of a vision is that it serves as a motivating place to come from, rather than a place to get to. Visions are also dynamic. As you achieve certain aspects of your vision, it will evolve to include new and previously unforeseen elements. Some aspects of your current vision will also change in time to no longer be part of your evolving vision. For these reasons, visions are always in need of periodic review and reevaluation. They serve to inspire and motivate you and others, not to restrict your options and vitality.
Once you have created your written vision, commit to reading it twice daily without fail, in the morning upon rising and in the evening right before bedtime. As the vision becomes an intention and expectation, your belief in its ultimate realization will support its manifestation into the world. As Walt Disney once said, “All your dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them.”
Write out your personal empowering vision in first person and present tense. Describe in detail what every aspect of your life will be like. Read your vision at least twice each day.
For more information on how to build self-esteem, visit
Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success and life-optimization coach and best-selling author of 12 books available worldwide in 23 languages. He is the CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention, an organization that has impacted the lives of more than 2 million people through personal and leadership development programs, providing participants with tools to maximize their happiness, self-esteem, communication skills, productivity and personal effectiveness. To subscribe to his complimentary newsletters, learn more about championing your self-esteem, communicating more effectively, life-impacting personal or group coaching, and transformational courses or to read about his books, visit www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com and http://www.TheSelfEsteemBook.com and http://www.highselfesteemkids.com .