By Dr. Joe Rubino
We all have a set of rules we follow which serves as a guide to our lives. For the most part, these rules exist in the background. Although they are often concealed from conscious awareness, they shape our expectations and interactions. Uncovering and becoming aware of these rules or conditions is essential for us to move powerfully forward on purpose. By exposing and clarifying what our expectations or life rules are, we become free to examine just how they support or hinder us in our relationships and in the achievement of our goals.
When we violate the life rules based upon our value system, frustration, anger and ineffective communication results. When we honor our values, life works.
Being productive is a natural state that comes from people doing what they enjoy and honoring their most important values. Productivity and having fun are closely related.
The corollary is most often true as well. When people are not having fun, they are not honoring their values and their productivity decreases. Another way to say this is "Do what you love and the money will follow."
By following your passions, you maximize your most productive state of mind. Doing what you love is the best way to live your core values. Developing clarity on exactly what your life rules are and which values must be honored for your life to work optimally will result in maximizing your personal power.
Values make up the core of who we are. When we live our lives in sync with our values, we function at our highest level. When we fail to honor these essential values, we become angry and our communication shuts down.
Some examples of values are:
- And there are many more.
Your values will continually evolve as you do. When you focus on living from your values, they become honored and satisfied. This allows you to then shift your focus to other evolving values. The key to a life that is satisfying and productive is to identify your key values and make sure they are being honored. Until your life and values are in alignment, life will look like an uphill struggle.
Some examples of life rules that are tied to values are:
- (0) If I feel I belong, I can accomplish most anything.
- (1) To be my best, there must be open communication.
- (2) When I can contribute to others, I maximize my aliveness.
- (3) To function at my highest potential, I need to express my creativity.
- (4) Without the freedom to do as I choose, life is not worth living.
- (5) When I am happy, I am powerful.
- (6) My dealings with others must be based on integrity if I am to accomplish
- (7) When I am at peace, I achieve great accomplishments.
- (8) When I access my personal power, I concentrate on contributing to others
- (9) When I feel safe and secure, I have the confidence to accomplish any task.
When your core values and life rules are honored you step into your power to function at your highest level. When you are not fully aware of your life rules, you may put yourself in situations where they can be easily violated.
A common source of conflict between people is lack of familiarity with the otherís life rules. Resolving conflicting attitudes is facilitated by educating others about what your life rules are and how they are to interact with you. When you train others how to treat you by clearly communicating what is important to you and making any appropriate requests, you will have accessed more of your personal power. Likewise, the better you understand what values and life rules are most important to others, the better you will be able to work powerfully with them.
Honoring Your Values and Living In Harmony With Your Life Rules
- List at least 4 of your most important values.
- Which are being fully honored and which are not?
- What life rules are associated with each one and to what degree are they being honored?
- How has not honoring these values and life rules affected your happiness and productivity?
- What specific actions will you take to honor any that are not respected now? By when will you take them?
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Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success and life-optimization coach and best-selling author of 12 books available worldwide in 23 languages. He is the CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention, an organization that has impacted the lives of more than 2 million people through personal and leadership development programs, providing participants with tools to maximize their happiness, self-esteem, communication skills, productivity and personal effectiveness. To subscribe to his complimentary newsletters, learn more about championing your self-esteem, communicating more effectively, life-impacting personal or group coaching, and transformational courses or to read about his books, visit www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com and http://www.TheSelfEsteemBook.com and http://www.highselfesteemkids.com .