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Sample 2 of Power to SucceedCOMPLETING YOUR PAST Sue
was totally in love with Jim. The couple met in high school and dated for eight
years. Everyone who knew them expected them to get married and live happily ever
after together. Then Jim met Karen. Before anyone knew what was happening -
including Sue - Jim had eloped with Karen, putting an end to all of Sue's dreams
and expectations. Sue
was devastated. All she could think about was Jim and how she had been cheated
out of a happy and secure lifetime with him. She attempted to date other guys but no one could compare to Jim in her eyes. Sue spent her days feeling sorry for herself and dreaming that one-day, Jim would return to her. After many years, Sue finally married another man. However, he could not
measure up to Sue's memory of Jim. As a result, Sue's marriage was an unhappy
one in which she never was able to give her all to her husband. After a number
of unhappy years, her husband left Sue as well. Sue lived out the remaining years of her life lonely, embittered and
righteously indignant about how she had been wronged.
It is impossible to be totally present to life, living full out in the
moment, if we are incomplete with our past. Instead of welcoming each new
experience with a fresh perspective, we become bogged down in the baggage from
previously unresolved issues. All
too often, when something does not work out as we had hoped, we worry about or
re-live the event over and over again. Maintaining our focus on the past
distracts and confuses us, draining our energy. The future presents us with an opportunity to complete the past. When we do so, people and events no longer possess an emotional charge. Communicating responsibly with the appropriate people and releasing any remaining opinions, feelings, upsets or emotions until there is nothing left to say is the access to clearing all residue that may interfere with moving on in life. When there is nothing left to say or do and you are void of further energy around an incomplete incident, you can start anew. Completion
is a declaration you make that you are satisfied for
now and ready to move on to what's next. When you are complete, you no
longer feel the need to change, worry or fix something in your past. There
is value in declaring yourself complete at the end of each day. This declaration
allows you to recognize your accomplishments for the day putting your mind at
rest so that you can start fresh the next day. When you are complete, you
experience a new vitality and aliveness. There is a special sense of certainty
and excitement that allows you to be most productive and present for whatever
project or opportunity is next. However, most of the time we never quite reach
that level of freedom due to our reluctance to communicate all there is to say
in order to put it all behind us. Do
not confuse completion with being finished or with quitting. Being finished
means you are done with doing whatever it is you've finished. Quitting is about
your decision to stop what you are doing whether you are finished or not. There
are times when quitting does not support you if you are quitting for the wrong
reason. For example, you quit because you cannot be with an interpretation of
failing or perhaps, because you are unwilling to take responsibility for
communicating what is so for you in the appropriate manner. Although
there is little room in our society for quitters, there is no dishonor in
quitting if you are clear about the consequences of your decision and staying at
it no longer serves you. All there is to do is simply tell the truth - and go on
to whatever is next for you. EXERCISE
FOR COMPLETION 1)
Make a list of all those people with whom you are still angry or have an
existing challenge or incompletion. 2)
Within the next 30 days, complete with everyone on your list. For those who are
deceased or unreachable, write a completion letter saying everything you need to
say in order to be complete. 3)
For every interaction or situation you experience daily, ask yourself if you are
complete, satisfied and fulfilled. Is there anything left to say or do that
would allow you to put any incompletions behind you? 4)
As you declare each situation complete, look to see what action, project or area
of research is next for you. 5)
Identify any areas where you have quit. Have you told the truth and completed
with your decision to quit? Is there anything left to do or say to anyone about
it? |