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Sample of The Power to Succeed COMPLAINING OR DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT Do
you often find yourself complaining, griping or otherwise making someone wrong?
Complaints need not be negative. If properly used, they can be powerful tools.
There are times when complaints are both warranted and effective in forwarding
some unworkable situation that may not be to your liking. Complaints
can be an opportunity to restore integrity to life. When a complaint is lodged
with the person who can actually remedy the situation, they can be the stimulus
to bring about necessary action. Complaints cause people to rethink and
revitalize relationships by putting into place whatever is missing. They can
serve to strengthen partnerships and correct misunderstandings. However,
when you find yourself complaining incessantly without taking the appropriate
actions to bring about a resolution to a situation, complaining may not support
you. Complaining to people who can do nothing about resolving your complaint is
a waste of your time and theirs as well. Doing something to put a stop to this
type of unproductive and self-defeating behavior can do much to increase your
personal power. Let's
start by making a distinction between complaining and griping. When you have a
prior agreement in place with someone and they fail to live up to that
agreement, you may find yourself complaining about it. When there was no prior
agreement and someone does something that upsets you, you are likely to gripe
about it. So,
when you have a complaint, first determine whether there was a prior agreement
in place. Next, acknowledge that the agreement was not kept and finally, see if
there is a request you can make or some communication you can have to address
the problem and forward the action. Perhaps, what may be needed is a clearer
understanding to prevent a similar situation in the future. Remember, if you
need to complain, make sure you do so to the person who can help to resolve your
issue. If
instead you have a gripe about someone or something with no prior agreement, see
if there is a request or communication you can initiate to resolve the
situation. As Mike Smith tells us, if you find yourself frequently complaining
about others or making them wrong, look to see if there is somewhere you: ·
Gossiped
·
Lied ·
Made a
mistake and covered it up or somewhere your integrity is out ·
Made some
agreement you did not keep ·
Are not
being responsible for something Often
times, our humanity cannot be with the above conditions. As a result, we might
find ourselves turning things around so that it comes out in the form of a
complaint, making someone else wrong. Any
time you find yourself continually complaining about some condition that remains
in place, there is usually a payoff you get for having the condition around.
When you are not aware of this, it runs your life and robs you of your power.
When you do become aware of it and nevertheless keep the condition in place, you
may be guilty of running a racket.
This occurs when you are more committed to the payoffs you get from keeping the
condition in place than to resolving the subject of your complaint. It
is only by becoming clear about what keeping the condition around is costing you
that you can create enough incentive to clear it up. A complaint is really
nothing more than a covert request. So, instead of complaining, see if there is
a request you can make to add to your personal power in resolving a difficult
situation. Every
complaint in your life has the potential to turn into a racket costing you your
power, health and relationships until you are willing to become responsible for
dealing with the issue at hand. Complaints are the red flags reminding you that
some request or action is called for to turn an unworkable situation around. TURNING
COMPLAINTS INTO ACTION 1)
Each time you find yourself with a complaint, see how you can forward the action
with a request instead. 2)
For each complaint identify if it is legitimate or chronic. 3)
See if you gossiped, lied, made a mistake or are out of integrity in any way. 4) What must you do to resolve any chronic situation you find yourself continually complaining about? |